he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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