MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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