he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
