So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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