Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
