I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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