i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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