I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i think im in europe. pls send help
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
