Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
third nipple confirmed
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
