Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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