And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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