If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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