Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
