i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
