I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
