Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
