I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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