She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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