how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
