I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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