if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he thought i was a dude.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
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Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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