Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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