idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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