I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So much rum. So many feels.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
