haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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