Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
