I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
