You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
