So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
