I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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