He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
