My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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