Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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