I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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