he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
