why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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