i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
