You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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