that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Bring me that man meat
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
