its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.