Got a toothbrush?
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.