so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me