the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
