I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
