you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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