For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
