At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
