It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
