Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
