Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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