this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
