that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Randomize
