youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So much Jack, so little girl.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
