just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
