You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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