I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
