i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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