Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
