Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
