oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
4 words: hood of his car
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
