I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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