sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wish my penis had a tongue
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
