; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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