I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
