everyone is single if you try hard enough
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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