dude i'm inner monologue high
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
