ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
