I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
