I wanna bring you to show and tell
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It's Friday. Sex?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you inspire me to be a worse person
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
