are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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